I think to myself...what a wonderful world....???

For L.Alicia,hope this helps.

I sat on the Dart this morning,headphones in,oblivious to the world.I looked out the window and saw the waves crash vigorously against the rocks.The sea was like a brown monster,roaring,consuming anything in it's path,devouring the rocks.It crashed again and again and the foam jumped up and touched the dark sky.The sand was nowhere to be seen,swallowed by the sea,swirling around the inside of it with no chance of escape.The seagulls had dissapeared,carried away by the wind.Few birds bopped on the waves.

I sat there in awe and the train continued to move quickly.The sky was spitting down,drops covered the glass on the windows and danced from top to bottom.I remembered when I was a kid the way I would try and chase the raindrops on my Grandad's car but I never could,they'd move too fast in the wind.You'd follow one and  then another one would arrive and replace it.They'd wiggle diagonally across the glass like soap in your hands,they would always escape you.I remember my Grandad and the great man that he was.I still miss him even years later.He was so patient and I hope I can be like that.If he taught me anything it's that you can be fun and a messer but still remain obedient.I hope I never forget what he taught me.I know recently it has stood to me but I hope it does forever.I want him to have an imprint on my life forever that I can teach my children and grandchildren too.It makes me sad that some of my brother's and sister's never met him but I hope I can somehow display what he was like to them.

I looked up at the sky.It was grey and brown and white.So many colours.It looked dirty,like it had been dragged across a muddy floor,collected all the dirt,holding it there,waiting to wring out.Like a person holds in emotion and eventually cries it out.When there used to be thunder and lightening my parents would tell me it was God moving the furniture up in Heaven so I wouldn't be scared.When I saw the waves it made me wonder what God was doing today?Washing the dishes?Cleaning the floor?I don't know but I was in awe.He is powerful enough to be in control of the waves and sea.That's some power!He takes all of our bad doings and forgives us regardless.It's like he takes a cloth and wipes the chocolate off our face the wrings out the cloth and it's forgotten.We look clean!The waves hit the beach and pull the dirt away.The next morning it is left clean.

The wind howled and the train shook.God really is at work.Such power.'Saviour,he can move the mountains?'I sing it all the time but I really do not doubt it.He has such power!When I see nature it always fascinates me.None of this happened by chance.A bang could never account for all the perfection that surrounds us.

I walked through the back gate of trinity,passed all the stone buildings.The wind sent chills down my spine and played havoc with my hair.The ground was wet and the air was moist.I breathed it in.Trinity College?Me?It's still a little crazy!!.I continued past the wooden benches,they were isolated and there were few students to be seen.The pink trees dripped and their petals lured into dancing by the wind.The ground was covered in a pink blanket and some flowers remained intact.They sat there,still,effortless,each one unique.

It's so amazing that each flower is so different,none the same.Every person is different,we all have our own little quirks.Some things we wish we could get rid of.My stupid laugh drives me crazy and Ed wears funny jumpers but there is nobody the same as either of us.God hand picked each thing about us and made us who we are.If you ever go to the bear factory you can pick every element of your bear and make them just the way you want them.You pick their voice,there heart,their name.Imagine that God did that for every single one of us?!It's okay for us,we hand over 20euro for the bear,he handed over his son.

I arrived at the library and faced an essay on language disorder.I thought of my brother and his speech.I know God made him the way he is.He is amazing in his own right.He inspires me everyday and I don't tell him enough how great he is.Disorder,deafness,pretty,stupid it doesn't really matter.God knows how many hairs are on your head,he knows every thought before you even think it and he knows where I'll be in a few years time.You having faults doesn't mean he doesn't love you.'He has knitted you together in your mother's womb' I know that scares you but you don't know what's next to come.

I'm just so in awe of how awesome God really is.It's easy to sing about it and take it for granted.He really can move mountains.He controls the wind and the waves.He made us all unique and he has given us life.Surely the challenges we face in sharing his good news are nothing in return for that?! :)

Nomi <3

:)

So this evening I got to do something amazing-share my faith with someone I barely know!!

I'm sorry this post won't be particulary imaginative or even exciting for some of you!Anyway,this evening out of the blue a student I give grinds to couldn't get his head around God's salvation.I tried to explain it is complicated terms,enough that he could get an essay from it but to no avail.He looked at me puzzled.He couldn't understand it.Eventually I decided to go back to what I thought was basic.I turned over my folder and drew two cliffs with no bridge between them.On one Cliff stood the student and on the other God.I then drew the shape of the cross between the two and it fit perfectly and I explained how Jesus dying on the cross took away our sin and gave us access to God.I shrugged it off by saying that he had probably seen the illustration a million time but when I looked up at him his face beamed with happiness.He was astonished.He had never seen it and suddenly everything clicked.He ran to get his younger sister who is a Christian and wanted to show it to her.He was so enthusiastic!!

I couldn't help but smile.What I had considered so small and taken for granted had made something click in his mind.We pushed it aside and continued on with the class.We talked about other religions and answered the essay questions.As it reached the end of the class he began to ask more,about God and the church and salvation and sin.I was so taken a back.I answered in the best ways that I could and I tried to back it up where possible.We talked for half an hour simply about the church!!I felt bad leaving,as I was walking out the door he was still asking me questions.He questioned God's opinions on gays and lesbians and so many other controversial topics.It was like there had been a person hiding inside him the whole time waiting to emerge,one that stayed quite and nodded.

It is amazing to see God working so much.I am constantly on the look out for ways to share my faith and I go to the extremes of writing whole college essays about the Bible in an attempt to evangelise my lecturers sometimes.Of course,this is complete maddness and irrelevant to my course.I've been brought close to failing on a number of occassions.

God really does give us opportunities when we least expect them!!

I am just so excited about what happened!!I have such a warm, fuzzy feeling inside me.I was exhausted before I started the class and now I'm wide awake,alive...God really is great!!

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide

I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show

I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross

But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean

Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

My friend once said to me that music is a universal language.He said that it doesn't matter where you are or where you're from you'll be able to understand the meaning behind any song.He said this and began to effortlessly play the piano.I watched in awe.He made it look so easy.I watched as his fingers raced up and down the keys.He didn't sing but his whole self became that song.He slipped into a different world while I stood there.With every key change he glanced at me from the stool,he looked tense and afraid.I felt him pour out his frustration,things that he could never say in person.He banged the keys.His whole life story un-ravelled like a ball of wool in front of me.The other person inside of him was revealed.The person was hurting and this was the only way he could express it.He had so much to say but he couldn't use his voice.I listened to his story and I knew he felt better once he'd stopped.I smiled and rubbed his back,he knew he had let me in.He placed his head on my shoulder and in a moment of silence it was clear that what he had been holding back had finally been shared.He had said nothing but he knew that I understood.

Some people make life look so easy.They speak effortlessly and share feelings with ease.They let people in quickly.They don't wear a mask.They're not afraid to let people in.They don't fear the rejection.They don't let past experience hang around their ankles like a chain.They cut it off and keep walking.They don't need a piano to bang out what they want to say.

The song above is about someones love and devotion to another.The pure happiness they find in that person and the belief that the sun shines through them.The belief that life is wonderful when they are graced by their presence.The belief that that individual brings meaning to their day and that they need no other.The words flow beautifully and the piano hums with ease.

I know this song is old and overplayed in some cases but it's message is universally understood.It's poetic tune opens a shortcut to the heart from the very beginning.From the humble piano at the start there is an instant understanding of the direction the song will take.You embark on a journey with this pair.One pouring out emotion like a fountain.His words are like water,they flow gracefully and splash out over people,giving every listener a little piece of his expression,giving them a keyhole view into the life he loves.Sharing with them the passion he feels for the other person.

I wish I could be more musical.I could write lyrics all day but I have no way of composing an appropriate tune.I wish I could effortlessly pour my heart out.I wish I didn't care what people thought and could let people in more quickly.I wish I didn't fear the unknown.I wish I could cry when I needed too and let people hug me better.I can use all the flowery language I like but they're just words.I feel like a Deaf person sometimes.I have a hold on what I want to say but I need an appropriate means to say it.I can wave my hands all I like but most people won't understand.I can create beautiful metaphors with my hands but it's only me who understands.The person I want to address doesn't understand me.It's music that is the key to opening that box of feelings inside.Music bridges the way between emotion and reality.

If I could write a song to explain how I'm feeling,I would.If I could write you a song to do justice to my words, I would.If I could know that you wouldn't laugh at me I'd tell you how I feel.If I could explain how you've hurt me while singing to piano, I would.You'd understand before I opened my mouth.If I could write a song about you it would be like the one above.I would soon ignore the hurt because your smile makes me forget.When your warm hands touch mine I know that I'm safe and when you wrap your arms around me I know that everything will be okay.When you grab my wrist I know that we're cool.When you joke with me I know that really you love the stupid things I do.When you look into my eyes I feel important,worthy of your time.When you smile at me,I know that I'm alive.When you you stand beside me I feel you breathing and my heart begins to race.

If I could give you my heart,I would.If I knew you wouldn't crush it,I would.If I knew I could trust you,I'd tell you everything.I'd let you listen to my crappy music collection and know exactly what I'm about.If I could guarantee that you'd be reading this I'd delete it.I care too much about what you think of me.I know, I'm impossible to read and you have no idea how much I value what we have.I'm full of talk and you think I don't care,in fact I couldn't care more.I know if you read this you would have no idea it's about you.I wish I could tell you instead of relying on a stupid blog to let me do the talking.

I wish I could write you a song,you could tell everybody that it was yours.Play it on repeat and appreciate it.I wish.I wish you felt the same.I know I can't and I know I must move on.A baker can't fix a car and a girl like me can't fix the world.I can't get inside you're head and know what you're thinking and until I have the music to sing my words I will remain a still statue.I will continue to show little.Await your approach.Remain as your friend.Know that our friendship benefits you.Know that you will never realise that your smile is my sun.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9AFMVMl9qE 

Rain

It always rains when things go wrong.It rained when I failed my driving test...twice.It lashed when I failed first year.It bucketed when my first love broke my heart and it hailed today when I realized I've been a fool.


The weather can reflect how we're feeling.In a way it empathizes with us but in a way it reminds us of the things that are going wrong.Thud thud thud.The cold rain hits,a heavy reminder.That sticky feeling when you run to get away from it.The dampness on your back.The frizziness in your hair.There for all to see.You hide under your hood but it can only hide so much.You can face the ground but the rain collects in puddles and wets your feet.You feel your mascara drip,the black stains showing all your mistakes.It's when it rains you are most vulnerable,your make-up peeling off your face,your red skin revealed.The real you.The weak individual that you try to keep inside.




The rain greases your hair,sadness makes you unattractive.Nobody likes a moan.People complain about the rain,they never embrace it.When the sun comes out people gather in numbers but when it rains people disappear,they don't want to get wet.


You need a get away card.An escape route.You see taxis but they drive through the puddles,splashing you in the process.You must continue through the rain.When you were a kid you had no worries,protected by the rain shield on your buggy.Your own little safety bubble.Sometimes I wish I could go back,sit in my buggy.Take note of everything said to me.Avoid the rain.


I wish I could shake this feeling.Step into the sun.See the weather forecast and be prepared for the rain.My jokes and humour can only get me so far.Eventually I will run out.I'll have to tell people how I really feel.Let them see my greasy,frizzy hair and my leaky mascara.I wish I had someone to walk with me through the rain and hold my umbrella while I hold onto my hood.I wish somebody would lift me over the puddles,save my feet from getting cold and wet.Not in a romantic sense but somebody who wouldn't judge me or leave me when they've had enough.Will want to be friends rain or shine.


So tomorrow if it rains,I will embrace it.Know that the sun must come soon.That damp feeling can be replaced by a warm one and cold feet can warm in front of the fire.I'll be armed with my wellies and ignore all the crap falling from the sky.

'For your heart is like a flower as it grows,and it's the rain not just the sun that helps it bloom'♥

Boxers

It seems to me that people are like boxer shorts.There's so much you can tell about a guy from his boxers.I know I'm not the only person that believes this.Numerous guys I know have admitted that their boxers reflect their personality.


 You see,most people don't see your boxers.Its only when you're running up stairs or bending over to get books out of your bag that it becomes an issue.It's when you're exposed that people can find out so much about you.


 This weekend I went to a conference.It was all about the Bible and Christian Unions in colleges and Universities all over Ireland.I found it so challenging.I felt like I was a guy running up the stairs,struggling to hide my boxers.I was running so quickly,trying to get to the top and not admit my lack of knowledge.I felt out of my depth and questioned myself many times.I didn't want to admit my struggles to anyone. I felt I let my walls down with a few individuals.Let them see my boxers in a sense.I let them see that they're plain and boring,light pink instead of the comic strip print I would like people to think. I learned so much from this weekend.Although I was challenged it had made me take action.it made me realise that people won't laugh at my pink boxers but in reality there are few people wearing cool ones.Lots of people struggle with the same things others do. I learned that it's okay to run up the stairs,letting people see your boxers a bit.Its good to let people in sometimes,you don't always need to have a brave front.Sometimes it's better to admit your struggles instead of clenching onto your trousers while you run.