I hate pancakes...

I hate pancakes!!Everything about them!!I don't understand why people get excited for pancake tuesday!Sitting here writing this I can hear my mum and brothers and sisters in the kitchen talking about them and how excited they are to have them.What is the big deal?!The most annoying thing about pancakes is that they always go lumpy!It's so rare that you can make them completely flat.


Admittedly this is a more aggressive post than the others.It's been a crappy day and it's better to take out my anger on this than on anyone else.It's so rare that I get irritated enough by something to let it get me down but today topped it!


There's lots of things I don't understand in life,why people like pancakes?Why west life are still on the go?Why people wear Chino's?Why girls always go to the toilet in groups?These are all insignificant and small things that tend not to bother me too much in my day to day life.Some other things that I cannot get my head around concern me more and today have become the focus of my attention.


I don't understand how someone can walk into your life and become such a big part of it and walk back out as if they were never crucial.I don't understand how someone can share with you all there deepest thoughts and listen to yours but abandon them as if you know nothing.I don't understand why people suddenly stop talking and make you feel like you've done something wrong.I don't understand why people hug you and pretend that every things okay,or why people stick up for you and then turn their back on you.I don't understand why people say things they don't mean or laugh at things that aren't funny.I don't understand how one minute we were best friends and now we're not!


I don't understand why I can't be where I want to be and I can't make people think certain things about me.I don't understand why I can't help myself from trusting people too quickly.I don't understand why every time this happens I don't learn from my mistakes.I don't understand why these things get me so frustrated and even though I know how lucky I am I still let it get on top of me.I don't understand why I can't always protect the people I love.I don't understand why there's people in India in trouble and all I can think about is how crap my day has been!!


So there are so many things I don't understand.All of these things are like the lumps in the pancakes.Everytime I think bad thoughts or dwell on the negatives I'm pushing myself further away from the plain sailing life and the optimum flat pancake.I suppose, I don't hate pancakes because of what's in them,in fact I like all the ingredients!!I love all the different parts of my life just sometimes when they're all mixed together the bad bits contribute to a sticky mess!!I know tomorrow it'll be over and I won't have to worry about pancake tuesday for another year and I know this mood will pass too.There's so many things in the world that humans just can't contemplate or understand,I know God has a big plan and he puts people in our lives for a reason just sometimes I wish he would make his plan more clear.

You deserve a beach full of stones...

I'm not sure why but every holiday makes me think of my Grandad.Him and my Granny used to look after me when I was a kid.He was a really quite man but he was a real joker at the same time.He was so loving and him and my Granny used to always send me valentines day cards...I guess that's why I'm thinking about him today.He passed away a long time ago but I still really miss him.I don't know if you ever get over loosing someone you really love.I know I'll see him again someday and I know that he'd be proud of everything I've done since he left.He was such a big part of my life and there are things that remind me of him everywhere.I think what I learned most from him was that it's not all about the love you display in public but the quite love you show in private.Him and my Granny were inseparable and until he died he loved her with all his heart.His priority was making her happy and he would always go to great lengths to do so.

I came across this a while ago,I wrote it in 4th year.It sums up my missing him along with some memories from India.

Dresses without pockets...

One thing I can never understand is why dresses very rarely have pockets.Maybe it's crazy that I would even question it but I think it's something that isn't thought about enough.Until you have experienced the pocketless dress you will never fully appreciate the benefits of pockets or the convenience they  provide.Imagine having to hawk everything with you every time you need to go to the toilet in the library or having to carry your purse and phone with you to the shop for fear they could be stolen from the lecture hall when you leave during the break.


Okay,I know this sound like a very 'first world problem'.Infact it is.There are bigger things in the world to worry about.An unstable economy,war,famine,poverty..the list goes on and on.So excuse my selfishness stressing over a choice of dress.I promise you, I do have a point.


So,a dress without pockets means inconvenience and having to carry things for the world to see.When you carry things around people can see your imperfections.In a way I think a pocketless dress represents the life of a Christian..or a Christian's life as it should be.We shouldn't hide things in our pockets where nobody can see them.We should be open and willing to share our faith.If you hide polo mints in your pockets nobody will know you have them...if you carry them in your hand people will see them and ask you to share.If you show people that your life is different people will ask you to share that too.God has put people in situations and will nudge them to ask questions.You need to be the person to provoke them.(I don't mean walking around with an 'I love Jesus' t-shirt but we all have the ability to be a witness.)


I would always choose the dress with pockets...I can be lazy and don't always want to share my stuff.I can be like that with my faith too.Sometimes it's easier to stay quiet and pretend that the issues surrounding you are none of your concern.It can be easy to hide things in your pockets.I don't always want people to question why I do or don't do things.Reality is,it's rare to get a dress without pockets and even more rare is that somebody would give up their life so that you could live yours.


So remember..don't let God become the old receipt in your pocket...shoved in their in case you might need it again sometime.You shouldn't have to dig deep beneath your money to find him he should be there in your hand for all to see.Don't be the dress with pockets that changes shape as the pockets get filled.Take the shape of Jesus and depend soley on him :)