Hmm...where to start?I know once you get going with something like this you begin to get better,starting is hard though.
I'm not sure why I'm writing this yet,I guess it's a means to share what I'm thinking...or even just to go through it in my own mind.This time last year I wouldn't have dreamt of writing something like this or even talking about the way I felt.The last year has been so crucial to my life and I've grown so much as a person because of it.The cliche 'there's light at the end of the tunnel' springs to mind and I'm apprehensive about using that.I know it's been used thousands of times before.Reality is that God is the light in the tunnel.We might choose to close our eyes and ignore the help that's out there or concentrate on the darkness and bad things.We can freeze and dwell on the negatives or embrace the positives and depend fully on God.He knows what he's doing..he's planned it out already!
I've learned that I am not in control,even when I want to be I am so far from it.Things that appear to hinder us are blessings in disguise and the people that hurt us are often preparing us for greater things to come.What I'm getting at, I guess is that I've been in that tunnel,I pulled my hood over my face and closed my eyes so I couldn't see the light,I played the music of other peoples opinions so loudly that I couldn't hear God's voice,I filled my life with things to distract me instead of focusing me.I became what I swore I would never become.I was everything I hated.Looking back down the tunnel it's like someone has switched the lights on.Every person that got me through it is like a pillar supporting the roof and the events of last year are like the bricks of the tunnel wall.Each one of them had a crucial role to play but seemed insignificant at the time.If you take out one brick you loose the wall,if you take out a part of life you find yourself in a different place,even the small things are important.A tunnel is only a small part of a trains journey and I know it was a small part of mine,there is plenty more to come.Tunnels feel huge when you're in them,you think they will never end but when you reach the sunlight you realize it was well worth the wait!
'I once was lost but now I'm found,was blind but now I see'.
