84x

'Good things come to those who wait!'-yeah,that's true,but why do some people have to wait so long?I've had a pretty rough week in terms of dissapointments,usually I take them on the chin but last night I decided I'd had enough.Sometimes you've gotta just cry it out as stupid as it feels.It's okay to show that you're not a robot even when some people think you are.


I kinda feel like I've been waiting for a long time,sitting on a hard bench at a bus stop.Buses pass me by but it's never the one I want.I've got on a few of the wrong ones but before too long I'm back at the bench.I have my own little timetable,I've picked out which bus I want to come and what time I want it to come at but life doesn't work like that.I want my bus to be pink and green and flowery and full of nice people that I can chat to.I want it to come as soon as I've sat down on the bench.I've been sitting here a long time but the buses that have passed are blue and boring,they aren't going where I want to go.Sometimes a bus will stop and I'll think about getting on but spend too long trying to rummage together the funds,so long that I've missed it.It's gone and it doesn't come back.I'm patient but I don't like waiting in the rain.It's easy to sit in the sun when other good things are happening,you don't mind if the bus is a bit delayed.This week I feel like I'm sitting in the hail stones at my country bus stop,they keep pounding down on me but the bus never comes.They make my clothes damp and there is no sun to dry them off,nothing to cheer me up.


'Your life hasn't been treating you too well'-that's what my mum says.She's right but it's out of my control.I told her I feel like I'm waiting and she says I'll just have to wait a bit longer.


What am I even waiting for?A job,a licence,an answer,an escape?Do I even need all of these things?I'm waiting in the rain but maybe if I walked back home I'd see that I have everything I need?These things are what I want,what my heart is telling me I need.Should I just listen to my head instead?


I'm so grateful for the opportunities that have come my way and I know more will come soon.I have the greatest friends I could ever ask for and I know they don't care how much of an idiot I look sitting at the bus stop for hours on end.Most of them get that I'm stubborn enough not to give up.


I worry that people will become so accustomed with me never reaching my full potential.Will take for granted that I will never leave the bus stop.People will stop asking my plans because they know they will never happen.People will drive past and think that I will always be there.I worry that they won't admire my optimism but instead take me for a fool.I don't want that, I want them to know that I know God is at the bus terminus and he will send my pink flowery one when he is ready.It'll be an express one and will only stop where I need it to.It might take me somewhere I'm not planning and people I wasn't expecting might hop on.I might have to share it with people I don't want to but he'll send it all the same.While I wait I can prepare myself for what's to come.Reflect on all the good stuff!Listen to switchfoot and think about some of the ridiculous mistakes I've made and the people who have walked in and out of my life.I can think about how much these people have changed me for the better.I can appreciate that inside me there is an adventurer waiting to escape not just another boring commuter.


Hopefully while I wait I will come across other people waiting for their buses,hopefully we can be friends.Hopefully we can sit and chat and drink Ribena in the sun.Hopefully I can hear their stories and help them in some way,maybe lend them money for their fare or lend them my umbrella in the rain.


Most of all I hope while I wait that I never forget I'm not waiting by myself,my best friend is always there,His dad is working at the terminus but he's been sent to keep and eye on me.He's been sent but he wants to come.He wants to sit and listen to me moan and receive my awkward hugs.He doesn't care if my hair is all frizzy from the rain and he doesn't care how long I talk for,He'll just sit and listen.He knows how much I'm struggling but he'll carry my heavy bag when I walk home everyday when the bus hasn't shown up.He'll watch kitchen hero with me and won't care that I've no interest in the food but he'll know that ultimately he is my hero and not Donal.

'Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord' <3